Friday, January 7, 2011
Runner-up, or second place, can mean different things, depending on the context. In my case, I have a long history of almost winning.
The last beauty contest I entered, for example, was a farce. The winner was inferior to me in every way, but the judges were biased towards her. I will admit she had an unfair advantage over me, but I was taught to be gracious.
No more. This contest means life and death. No one will have the favoritism I've become accustomed to. I mean to have the surgical enhancement necessary to win.
Do you think that's cheating? That it's not an honest way to win? You might think differently if you had my face.
Genetics shouldn't play into this, but it does. It's not my fault that my human ancestry gave me only one nose. The Denebian judges are partial to two noses and since they are the ones overseeing the contest, I have no choice.
Monday at dawn, they will announce the winner. Right after the ceremony, the runner-up will be barbecued for the banquet.
©2011 Laura Eno