Employee Relations - #FridayFlash

Lucien gathered his staff in the break room before the bar opened for the evening.

"I want you to be on your best behavior tonight. We have a dignitary coming in."

The new demon bartender looked confused.

"When you say 'best behavior,' do you mean best behavior as in human standards or worst behavior because we're evil?"

Lucien sighed. It was so hard to find good help these days.

"I know you're evil. I meant no screw-ups, got it? Death and Chronos will be in later—"

"But, boss, they're not dignitaries. We see them all the time on poker night."

Evil eyed the bubble-headed waitress with disdain.

"Stop interrupting me when I'm talking, Lilith…and get rid of the gum."

The succubus took the wad from her mouth and stuck it under the tabletop.

"As I was saying, Death and Chronos will be in later to make sure that everything is set up right for Gaia's visit. She only stops in once in a blue moon so I want everything to go smoothly."

"Will she be wantin' fancy snacks?"

Lucien wanted to wipe the sneer from the little Scotsman's face, but the soul from purgatory was the only cook small enough to fit in the minuscule kitchen. He puffed double-time on his cigar, trying to calm down.

"She wants tofu on the menu."

"Tofu? I quit." The cook threw his apron on the floor.

"Don't be a loon. You can't quit," Lilith said and cracked a new piece of gum she'd snuck in her mouth.

The bartender raised his hand.

"So you want us to be evil but not screw up, right?"

Lucien waved his hand and the floor opened, swallowing the lot into the flames below.

When Death and Chronos arrived, they found Lucien tending bar.

"Where's your staff, my friend?" Death asked.

"I'm a little short-handed tonight."

"You sent them all to hell again, didn't you?" Chronos laughed as steam spewed out of Lucien's ears.

Death grabbed the bowl of peanuts and tossed one into his eye socket, immediately snorting it back out through his nasal cavity.

"These are the worst peanuts I've ever tasted. What's wrong with them?"

Chronos sniffed the bowl. "They're not real peanuts. They're tofu."

©2010 Laura Eno

We're Baaaaack! - #FridayFlash

"That vacation was great, but it's good to be back." Chronos propped his feet up on the coffee table and passed the bowl of peanuts over to Death.

"Lovely nebula," Death said and tossed a peanut into his eye socket. "I'd go back there again. Do you think anybody missed us?"

Chronos shrugged. "Let's find out." He hit the remote and tuned in to CNN.

"…headline news." The frothy blonde attempted a serious look.

"Zombies are on the rise. Death seems to be on holiday, which could account for the increase in zombie activity.

Also reported are increasing errors in the space-time continuum, leading scientists to wonder who is at the helm? Wormholes are activating in suburban backyards, swallowing gym sets and the occasional toddler. At least one physicist predicts an implosion in the Earth's core within a month.

In other news—"

Chronos switched the TV off. "I guess they missed us."

Death rubbed his phalanges, dropping his jaw in good humor.

"Back to the old grind for us, my friend. Let's not run into Atropos until we've cleaned up though." His bones rattled as he shuddered.

He tossed a helmet at Chronos. "You want a ride on the Harley?"

Sighing, Chronos stuck the helmet on his head.

"I'll do anything to get that beast off my shag carpet."

©2010 Laura Eno

Fabulous Flash

I am honored to have received the Fabulous Flash Award from both John Wiswell of The Bathroom Monologues and Mark Kerstetter of The Bricoleur. Thank you both so much!

*goes offstage to dry her eyes*

The originator of this badge is #fridayflash's own Jon Strother of Mad Utopia, the founder of the group, to recognize excellence in flash fiction.

Now, I could award this to twenty-five people right off the top of my head, but the rules say I should pass it along to four, and state what I admire about their writing.

Kevin Mackey of KjM on the web
Kevin is a transplanted Irishman who has poetry firmly lodged in his soul. It permeates everything he writes, whether it's fiction or otherwise. He also posts Haiku on Twitter each day.

Angie Capozello of Techtiggers Soapbox
Angie has a series that astounds me with the amount of tension she packs into less than a thousand words week after week.

Valerie Valdes of As The Moon Climbs
Valerie has a weekly series and also writes beautiful poetry that speaks to me.

Rayna M Iyer of Coffee Rings Everywhere
Rayna posts daily drabbles that fascinate me. If you don't know, a drabble must consist of exactly 100 words. Hers never feel contrived or awkward in hitting the mark.

I hope you visit each one of the sites and perhaps make a new friend while you're there.

Happy Birthday - #FridayFlash - Birthday Contest

The candlelight glowed in the mirror. It gave her a soft, mysterious look. Katie felt the effect. She looked young and alive, a fitting tribute to her fortieth birthday.

Her family had already gathered around the table. She sat down to join them at the place they'd set for her.

One by one, they raised their glasses in a toast. Each spoke of how she had touched their lives in some way, or gave an amusing anecdote designed to bring a smile to each person’s face.

The table fell silent. She wished that she had the words to describe how much they all meant to her.

Her family raised their glasses one last time. She reached for hers, but failed to connect.

Her husband spoke, his eyes unfocused and full of tears. “Happy birthday, Katie. You left us much too soon.”

©2009 Laura Eno


This week's #fridayflash is also an entry in Deanna Schrayer's Happy Birthday contest. Join in the fun at The Other Side of Deanna.

Survivor - #FridayFlash

The final taping of America's latest reality show, Survivor: Continent, played to an unprecedented audience of 700 million worldwide. The numbers had remained steady throughout sixteen weeks of airtime. Ecstatic sponsors engaged in bidding wars for fifteen-second spots.

Who would be the last one standing from the original 435 men and women vying to win the challenge? Tonight's episode would answer that question.

A hush fell over the last two tribes as the moderator walked on deck. Sotto voce, he turned to the camera.

"We've read your letters and emails, people of the US. We've seen the demonstrations in the streets. Tonight, we give you what you've been waiting for. The vote was unanimous."

He turned to the remaining five women and four men, standing by the rail with little white life preservers slung around their hips.

"The people of this planet have had their say. There will be no survivor of Congress left."

Amid gasps and tearful pleas of "one more chance," the crew tossed the last of the tribes overboard. The cameras panned the dark waters, zooming in for close-ups as the preservers turned slick with oil.

"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Your voices have been heard at last. Stay tuned next week for our new adventure, Survivor: CEO."

©2010 Laura Eno

Many thanks to Mark Kerstetter of The Bricoleur for the inspiration for this story. Go read his post "Weather Report."

Awards, Awards!

Helen Ginger of Straight From Hel has awarded me the You Are My Sunshine Award. Thank you so much, Helen!

Valerie Valdes of As The Moon Climbs recently awarded me with both The Versatile Bogger and the One Lovely Blog Awards. Thank you for both, Valerie!

As some of you know, I've been knee-deep in writing and ignoring you all so I am begging forgiveness if I don't pass these on right away. I hope that you will visit both of these awesome blogs and enjoy them as much as I do.

Fast Food - #FridayFlash

This flash is Cecilia Dominic's fault...



No one noticed the shipments at first. Brief blips on the radar of life, happening somewhere else and of no consequence to the average person. A container full of heads here, a box full of legs there; minor oddities on a planet known for such things.

The junior reporter on the 6 o'clock news in Toledo finally discovered the missing piece. To his credit, he continued to broadcast until the end. Unfortunately, only his feet were filmed; the camera dropped at the beginning of the segment by a crewmember, whereabouts unknown.

Sadly, all that is known from the shot is that the aliens have very large feet. The reporter managed to capture a voice clip, a series of chirps and clicks, before the feed went dead.

Although linguists are still trying to translate the sound bite, a note was recovered from the scene. "People of Earth, we require more stuffed craniums and drumsticks. Don't send any more wings. They don't have enough meat on them."

©2010 Laura Eno