Lucien greeted Death and Chronos with a jovial salute as they arrived for the monthly poker game.
"Glad you could make it, gentlemen. I want to thank the two of you for sending Jeeves to me."
"Why?" Death said. "Did you find a particularly amusing way to torture him?"
"Hell no. He's the best bouncer I've ever had and he broke Lilith's habit of sticking gum under the tables, too."
Chronos stared at him. "Jeeves? I thought he buttled."
"Buttled?" Lucien gave him a blank look.
Death nudged Time in the ribs with his olecranon. "I don't think that's a real word, my friend."
Jeeves came out of the back carrying trays of food. He set it all down on the table and held up a glass dish.
"Peanut, sir?"
Death looked at the four peanuts lying there and raised his metacarpus.
"No! Wait." Lucien ran to the bar and hurdled it, racing back with a bowl full of peanuts. He wiped the sweat from his brow with one hand as he offered the snack to Death with the other.
"Jeeves, go greet our other guests," Lucien said and heaved a sigh of relief as Death took the bowl from him.
Chronos chuckled as he watched Jeeves take a clothes brush to Michael's wings and light Clotho's cigar for her.
"You have him well-trained, Lucien, but he's living on borrowed time around Death."
"I see that," Evil muttered. Death's eye sockets still glowed red and he hadn't tossed a single peanut into them yet.
When War stomped in, Jeeves tried to fuss with his cloak and got a smack in the jaw for his efforts. Death settled back and tossed a peanut into his eye socket, his jaw dropped in a grin. He picked up the deck of cards and shuffled them.
"Five card stud, anyone? Opening wager is Jeeves's soul."
©2010 Laura Eno
Does Jeeves have a soul?!
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that Clotho smokes cigars.
Jeeves is one of the souls stuck in Purgatory...
ReplyDeleteClotho is a cool chick. :)
Who will want Jeeves' soul besides Evil? I say Chronos is off this game, heh.
ReplyDeleteWhat a jeeerk! Poor Jeeves.
ReplyDeleteI fold, Jeeves' soul too rich for my blood...
ReplyDeleteI also love it that Clotho smokes cigars. What I want to know which one wears the croupier's peaked cap with no cap part?
Marc Nash
Wow, hurdling the bar. Lucien is cool and spry. That is some wager.
ReplyDeleteFive card stud? Very old school!
ReplyDeletelol. I'm enjoying this series of flash fiction. Lots of fun.
ReplyDelete"Buttled" should be a word.
ReplyDeleteIt figures Lucien would like Jeeves. He can sit back and watch him torture everyone with his buttling. I think I had his sister as a waitress one time. She was so determined to serve us tea, she would pull the glass out from under your hand to fill it.
ReplyDeleteJeeves shouldn't have messed with War. Death showed some pretty good restraint when he was offered just four peanuts...again. Good one as always!
ReplyDeleteHope Lucien can keep Jeeves. It sounds like he's found someplace where his constant "buttling" is appreciated.
ReplyDeleteThese immortals get funnier and funnier every week.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
These immortals get funnier and funnier every week.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
LOlz. Maybe a book of this silliness? They are too fun Laura.
ReplyDeleteYay, jeeves is back! That last line is a killer.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, what Carrie said ==> A BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace...
I love that there's so many characters in this one...
ReplyDelete"Death's eye sockets still glowed red and he hadn't tossed a single peanut into them yet."
ReplyDeleteClassic line.
Oh no, Jeeves' soul is hanging in the balance! Can we have Bertie Wooster make a bumbling appearance and somehow manage to save Jeeves from Death...?
ReplyDeleteLaughed at the image of War coming in after a hard day at work and having Jeeves fuss with his cloak!
ReplyDeletePoor Jeeves!
ReplyDeleteYour best of the series, me thinks!
ReplyDeleteWhat a poker night!
ReplyDeleteYou sure know how to make us feel sympathy for poor Jeeves Laura!
ReplyDeleteAnother fun installment!
By the way, I am Loving Prophecy Moon - thank you!
Poor Jeeves! He deserves better than this.
ReplyDeleteMUAHAHA! I love these vignettes– they're so tasty! You really have a way of making these anthropomorphisms come to life in a fun and believable way.
ReplyDeleteI love that clothos smokes cigars too. It explains a lot of the "holes" in the tapestry of life. : )
Poor Jeeves, trying to walk the line between Death and Lucien.
ReplyDelete*lol* I love reading these. Poor jeeves, he's in with a rough crowd
ReplyDeleteYes. These awesome characters deserve a BOOK.
ReplyDeleteJeeves is a perfect godsend-- I mean, match-- for Lucien. I hope he wins that poker game!
Love it as always. :)
hehe! I want a buttler to buttle! Poor Jeeves :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, with a name like Jeeves, what the hell do you expect! :)
ReplyDeleteThe humor in these always make me laugh, subtle as they are...War stomping in, Lucien wiping sweat from his brow - highly original.
Jeeves has a Death wish. That's twice with the four peanuts in the glass dish.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he'll get a third chance.
Great as always, Laura. A fun Friday.
Well done.
Awesome website, I had not come across lauraeno.blogspot.com before in my searches!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the wonderful work!
I thought Evil acted a little out of character by fetching the peanuts, but then I realized WHY. And Death is usually so easy going!
ReplyDeleteI like how this story stands alone as well as being part of the series. :)
I was waiting for a gambling night with the crew ... Ah, Jeeves...
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your wonderful comments!
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence brought a big grin to my face, that's how you know you have a fan of these guys -- and their creator of course.
ReplyDeleteI mean, just the thought of Evil "muttering"!
Jeeves soul the wager? Wonder who's going to win this one. Heh heh. Great as usual. My favorite one so far. Jeeves' ass is grass...and Death's got the lawnmower! Oh yeah!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other commenters. These would make a great book. :)
I'm getting your book, BTW, and CAN'T WAIT to dig into it! :D
I'm a day late but this was funny as always!
ReplyDeleteIf Jeeves keeps fussing around War there won't be much of him left for anyone to win. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteThank you all! Jeeves is trying to keep a stiff upper lip in the back room while he waits for the conclusion of the poker game...
ReplyDeleteWonder what Death's wager is if he loses. Liked the comment on stiff upper lip. ;)
ReplyDeleteHe, he, he...Jeeves got smacked for fussing with War's cloak. Another great addition to the collection, Laura.
ReplyDeletePoor Jeeves. He works so hard and is reduced to the status of a poker chip. Great story Laura.
ReplyDeleteDeath looked at the four peanuts lying there and raised his metacarpus.
ReplyDeleteFunny. I bet his soul is worth quite a bit.
"Buddled." Awesome. Should be a word for sure. Glad Lilith isn't sticking gum under the table anymore. This is such a great, funny read!
ReplyDeleteNot only are these funny, but I'm beginning to learn my Human anatomy -- at least the skeletal structure part of it. ;)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, how many of these do you have now? When you hit critical mass you'll have to do a book.
~jon
I'm learning the skeletal structure as I go along. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's still a long way from critical mass (23) but someday a book will come out of it.
Thanks everyone for reading!
Those eye sockets are very disturbing. Looking forward to critical mass.
ReplyDeleteI just came to the end of the line without reading previous comments, as I am so late to this party. *craving peanut butter*
ReplyDeleteThe ending capped this perfectly. Lilith sticking gums under tables--so that's who did it!
These are priceless. I will say it again: rewrite these as a script and sell them to a tv channel--perfect mini-cartoons for in-between shows. (That's how the Simpsons started on The Tracey Ulman Show).
I look forward to buttling in my next life. Or maybe in purgatory.
ReplyDeleteThanks all for reading! Sorry about the cravings and I hear that buttling is a good occupation. :)
ReplyDelete