Tuesday, December 14, 2010

52 Stitches Is Here!

52 Stitches is now available at Amazon, including my story Dangerous Premonitions.

Aaron Polson and Strange Publications have decided to donate all profits to the Jamie Eyberg memorial fund for his and Anne's two young children. Please open your heart and buy a few copies for a worthwhile cause and excellent tales of terror.

52 Stitches at Amazon

Product description:

These flash stories are quick, dark, and sometimes mean. You’ll find black humor here. Zombies. Killer angels. Maybe a vampire or two. But there are other, less common horrors at work, even a few subtle, unsettling tales which stretch far beyond their few pages. Each story can be read in a few minutes, but will haunt for much longer.

52 Stitches at Amazon

Monday, December 13, 2010

Want Fries With That Novel?

The dream I had last night will continue to haunt me until I get it down on paper and subject other people to it. Yes, that means you are now part of a viral infection.

In my dream there was a way to feature a FaceBook Author page on a kiosk at *cough* McDonalds, guaranteed to boost your fans.

I swear, I only left it up there for twenty minutes before shutting off the ad, but in that time, I gained two MILLION fans to my page. Mostly they were five year old button pushers, with a few eight year old fans thrown in with comments like "This is a neat book!" sprinkled over my page.

It seems the kiosks were centered in the middle of the McDonalds playgrounds, right next to the plastic tubes that look like they're made for giant gerbils. The comments from my "fans" puzzled me though. Did they have little plastic keyboards attached to the screens for young minds to participate in a type of modern-day graffiti?

The teenagers were worse, of course. One wit asked if my book came with fries; others thought they'd practice their stand-up comedy act for the X-rated crowd on my page.

None of this woke me up though. I could deal with it all, calmly considering a change of name and possible move to another country to fix my blunder.

It was the English Professor who left me with heart-pounding fear, waking to stare at the dark ceiling while dread settled in for a comfy spell.

The Prof went on a diatribe of quotation marks, bold words and the horrific s/he vs. they conundrum. I swear an entire English course passed before my eyes. At one point, I bit halfway through my tongue (maybe it was less than halfway, but at the time it felt like I'd severed it).

By the time I read the dissertation s/he had left on my page, I wondered what a person like that was doing on FaceBook in the first place. Really, wouldn't *they* go mad witnessing the grammatical inconsistencies that abound there? Or perhaps defacing my author page was only a pit stop squeezed in between sliding through the gerbil tubes and munching salty burgers.

I could almost feel sorry for the person…almost.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any inconsistencies, since it was a dream. You'll have to take your complaint to the REM department, which keeps strange hours and is totally unreliable…usually…often.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Death In A Red Suit - #FridayFlash

Chronos heard a commotion outside and hurried to the door, opening it to find a tiny reindeer stamping on his welcome mat.

"Are you lost, little one?" The miniature cutie only stood five hands high.

"I ain't lost, Pops," the deer growled in a voice better suited to a carnie with a cigar chomped between his teeth.

While Chronos stared at the small hellion, he heard the roar of Death's Harley in the air behind him.

"Get back in formation, Prancer."

The small deer grumbled and sprang into the air just as Death and seven other reindeer came in for a landing in the middle of Time's carefully tended garden.

"I got us a gig!" Death hopped off his bike and danced over, his Santa hat flopping down to cover one eye socket and looking like a jaunty pirate.

"Doing what?" The second the question left his mouth Chronos decided he really didn't want to know.

Death presented a pointy green cap with a flourish.

"Macy's hired me as their Santa and you're going to be my helper. How cool is that, my friend?"

Chronos backed away to a chorus of snickers from the little deer, waving his hands in front of him to fend off Death.

"No, no…you're not turning me into an elf. I won't do it."

"I have candy-striped stockings for you too," Death continued as if Chronos hadn't spoken. "When I arrived to collect their old Santa yesterday, the manager asked if I wanted the job. It seems the city has a shortage of jolly Saint Nicks."

Chronos shook his head in a desperate attempt to clear it, but the scene before him remained unchanged.

"Where did you come up with the rude reindeer?"

"Lucien loaned them to me," Death enthused. "Aren't they great?"

"Your reindeer are demons?"

"Well, sure. I couldn't take Santa's real ones, you know. How would he get around? Come on, it'll be fun."

Chronos stuffed the elf cap on his head and stalked over to the bike, already regretting his decision.


The mini reindeer caused quite a stir as they strutted into the large department store ahead of Santa and his peculiar-looking elf. The manager flagged Santa down and pulled him aside.

"You can't bring these animals in here."

Prancer left a present in the aisle as response.

"Don't worry," Death said. "The children will love them."

The manager's face turned a deep shade of purple. "Get them out of here!"

A crowd had already formed around them by this time, children squealing with delight as they cavorted with the deer. The demons, for their part, took a perverted pleasure in knocking over display units and creating havoc while leading the kids astray.

Chronos noted one woman gasping for breath as she caught sight of Death over by the perfume counter.

"One of your imminent clients?" Chronos asked as he watched her portrayal of a fish out of water.

Death followed his gaze. "No. She is only suffering the aftereffects of inhaling Poison."

As Death sat down in Santa's chair and listened to the children telling him their fondest wishes, Chronos couldn't help but be proud to call him friend. Even when they were fired a half hour later for giving away the merchandise, Chronos could call it a good day.

"What about the demon reindeer?" he asked as they exited the building without the tiny menaces.

Death shrugged a clavicle. "They'll revert back to Lucien at midnight. In the meantime, let them have a little excitement."

"I have to admit, it was fun watching them tree that manager," Chronos chuckled. "I didn't think he'd climb that display so fast in dress shoes."

©2010 Laura Eno

Monday, December 6, 2010

I think they've hatched...

Once again I'm sitting on blog awards like a mother hen stuck to her nest. Forgive my tardiness. As for the rules...I don't follow rules. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Debbie Prestwood at Thoughts in Writing gave me the Versatile Blogger Award. Thanks, Debbie!

I'm awarding this to:

Lydia Kang at The Word is my Oyster

Cathy Webster at Life on the Muskoka River

Anne of Don't Fence Me In bestowed this Summer Blogger Award on me. Thank you, Anne! As she improvised, it's given to others who put sunshine in my life.

I'm awarding this one to:

Carol Kilgore of Under the Tiki Hut

Mari Juniper of mari's randomites

Sam Adamson of Future; nostalgic

Stephen Tremp of Breakthrough Blogs gave me this Supernova Award. Thank you, Stephen!

I'm awarding this to:

Jon Strother at Mad Utopia for his tireless efforts in bringing the Best of Friday Flash into print. At $7.99, it'd make a great Christmas gift!

Carol Kilgore of Under the Tiki Hut gave me the Go Away I'm Writing Award. Thanks, Carol!

I'm awarding this to:

Clarissa Draper at Listen To The Voices

Virginia Moffett of A Room Of My Own

Jodi Henry of Turning The Page

Debbie Prestwood at Thoughts in Writing

Jodi Henry at Turning the Page gave me the Beautiful Blogger Award. Thank you, Jodi!

I'm awarding this to:

Melissa Johnston at Windspirit Girl for her gorgeous artwork!

Lydia Kang at The Word is My Oyster handed out the Happy Pill Award. Thanks, Lydia!

I'm awarding this to:

Alan Davidson of Conversations From Land's Edge because he's accident prone and could use the happy pill.

Clarissa Draper of Listen to the Voices and Alex of Alex J Cavanaugh both gave me the Cherry On Top Award. Thank you both!

I'm awarding this to three ladies who really are the cherry on top:

Karen Schindler at Miscellaneous Yammering

Deanna Schrayer at The Other Side of Deanna

Anne Tyler Lord of Don't Fence Me In

Virginia Moffatt of A Room of My Own gave me the Fabulous Flash Award. Thank you, Virginia!

I'm awarding this to:

Angie Capozello at Techtiggers' Soapbox for her fabulous series.

Deanna Schrayer of The Other Side of Deanna gave me the Prolific Blogger Award. Thanks, Deanna!

I'm awarding this to:

Stephen Tremp of Breakthrough Blogs

Alex Cavanaugh of Alex J Cavanaugh

Roland Yeomans of Writing in the Crosshairs

Melissa Johnston at Windspirit Girl bestowed the Liar with a Twist Award on me. Thank you, Melissa!

I'm holding onto this one until I find a really good liar. :)

Thank you all for your generous gifts, the way you've touched my life, and for continuing to boost me up whenever I might fall. My online friends are truly exceptional people!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A Hel-of-a-Review!

Helen Ginger over at Straight From Hel just posted a review of my novel Don't Fall Asleep! She gave me the coveted Hel-of-a-Writer rating! Can you tell I'm a little bit excited?

I'd be honored if you'd go give it a read!

Don't Fall Asleep Review

I'll wait right here...hurry...go now...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Attention Shoppers!

The wonderful Erin Cole has compiled a list of novels and anthologies featuring 30 authors on her site just in time for your holiday shopping! What better gift than a book to cherish and a way to support an author at the same time?

Holiday Book Blog Catalog

Go have a browse and buy a book or three!