Thursday, October 29, 2009

Midnight Swim - #FridayFlash



Marsha was having a blast at the Halloween party. She and her friend, Sue, had pre-arranged a signal if either one needed to be rescued but it didn’t look like they’d need it. The music thrummed in her soul, the booze flowed freely and the costumes were fabulous. Marsha felt like a million dollars here.

When Sue had suggested crashing the exclusive party of the hottest horror film director in town, Marsha was sure they’d be thrown out at the door. Instead, the director himself greeted them, warmly ushering them inside.

His vampire costume was to die for, probably costing thousands of dollars for the authenticity. Everybody here sparkled in their expensive clothing, although not all were in costume. Marsha’s little devil getup was cheap, but it made the most of her assets. In the dark, no one would know it didn’t have a designer label. Come Monday, when she put her waitress uniform back on, she’d have some awesome memories of this night.

“Would you care to dance?”

The sexy voice belonged to someone in a death costume. As Marsha melted into his arms, she tried to think of which star he might be. The voice wasn’t familiar, but so many actors modulated their speech.

After a while, they drifted out to the balcony, overlooking the Hollywood hills. Marsha felt a bit tipsy, drinking more than she normally would. The night sky opened before them with a thousand stars, the air vibrated with promise.

“Do you choose to be with me?”

The voice whispered in her ear, inviting her to share his exciting life. Why not? Marsha thought. If I don’t like him tomorrow I’ll just tell him I’m a waitress. That ought to send him running. She giggled at the image of death fleeing from her.

“Sure.” It came out a bit slurred but understandable.

“Why don’t we go for a swim.”

An Olympic-sized pool sat directly below the balcony. Marsha had been so busy gazing at the stars that she hadn’t noticed it before.

“Okay.” She turned to go find a way downstairs, but death picked her up and threw her over the railing.

Marsha broke the surface, sputtering and glad to have survived the fall. Death floated next to her, not a smudge in his make-up.

“Is your make-up waterproof?” She gazed into the blackest eyes she’d ever seen. He hadn’t looked this scary earlier.

“My dear, I’m not wearing a costume. Are you ready for your swim?”

Marsha’s confusion quickly progressed to terror as she sank endlessly, deeper than the pool’s depth. When she broke the surface again, she stared into the eyes of the ferryman.

The police ruled Marsha’s death accidental, a broken neck as she fell over the railing and hit the concrete walk in the garden below. Someone reported seeing her just minutes before it happened, standing alone and swaying to the music. It was determined that she was a gatecrasher, nobody worthy of a headline. The party played on.

©2009 Laura Eno

50 comments:

  1. "Nobody worthy of a headline." That line whacked me harder than the rest for some reason. Great piece, Laura. Enjoyed it mightily -- even though, technically I shouldn't be reading your #FridayFlash on Thursday. What, you trying to migrate to #ThursdayFlash?

    Jeff Posey
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  2. Yeah, the ‘Nobody …’ line got me as well. That and the swimming pool that wasn’t really there were the best bits.

    It made me wonder how many times this actually happens in Hollywood. Is the cover-up just something for writers to use?

    Enjoyable flash.

    Leigh.
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  3. You have such a slick way with words!

    great Friday Flash - which I'm reading on Friday!! haha
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  4. I hoped you'd done a Halloween special and I wasn't disappointed! Wonderful. I loved this line: "His vampire costume was to die for" - I knew she was in for trouble right then and there!
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  5. Oh wow. That was just perfect for Halloween. And what wonderful lines - to die for, nobody worth... Great story.
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  6. *sneaks in on Thursday night*

    Couldn't wait until Friday to read your story, heh.

    It was wonderful! Your flash always is...

    So Marsha goes to a party with Sue, and goes "home" with Charon? Wow.

    Many great lines. Also loved that Marsha is such a girl...marveling at waterproof makeup Ha!
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  7. Great. I finally make it to a Shift-in-Dimensions party early and the cool people drop dead. You're merciless.
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  8. I really enjoyed hoe the pool became the River Styx. Well done!
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  9. I have an endless fascination with the River Styx. Thanks for giving us a Halloween themed flash. I really enjoyed this!
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  10. Great yarn - I like the pool/Styx connection then the final paragraph nails it.
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  11. Yet another fan of the "Nobody..." line here!

    As ever, I leave here with a big grin :)
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  12. He really was quite the devil wasn't he? Viciously good!
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  13. I have mixed feelings about the nobody. On the one hand, everyone is someone, and someone is usually worth remembering. By the other, some people are unworthy of memory and therefore nobodies that need to be remembered. Complicated, to be sure, but I definitely like the story. It was very quick, and some times, those are the most difficult pieces for us verbose authors to do, right? ;)
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  14. Interesting juxtaposition of the classical Greek with the more modern medieval depiction of Death.

    Of course if you'd gone with the classical interpretation of Charon the ferryman over the Styx, he would have been dressed in a loin cloth and carrying a long oar or punting pole. Which would make him look more like a pole-vaulter than Death. So good call! :)
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  15. Add me to the list of those who were hit hard with the Nobody line. What a sad commentary for poor Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

    Great story, Laura. As always.
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  16. Another great ass-kicker of a tale. Damn, I hope when I depart this life I'm not thrown off a balcony.
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  17. That's what fiends are for.Styx in my mind ... top tale.
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  18. I liked the 'His vampire costume was to die for' line. A nice bit of foreshadowing. Good stuff
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  19. Thank you all for reading and leaving comments! It truly makes my day.
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  20. A really fine piece of work! It's short and has everything it needs.
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  21. The hottest horror director in town has some scary connections, now I'm worried about Marsha's friend Sue.
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  22. I guess Marsha fell for his line. Good job, Laura.
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  23. Oh, good bait-and-switch :P I thought the film director was going to be a real vampire when you mentioned the authenticity of his costume.

    Although I suppose he still could be -- you never said he wasn't...
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  24. Laura, I love the punch of Marsha going straight from finding a way downstairs to being picked up and thrown.
    You nailed the voice in this. Great job!
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  25. Laura -

    PERFECT! Man, death is sneaky, ain't it?!
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  26. FANTASTIC! I LOVE IT. I laughed out loud at - "If I don’t like him tomorrow I’ll just tell him I’m a waitress. That ought to send him running." but then got quite a chill when you followed it up with "She turned to go find a way downstairs, but death picked her up and threw her over the railing."

    I knew then, or suspected, that Death was more than just a man in a costume.

    So well done...thanks for the creep out so close to Halloween!
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  27. Very cool! Stories about Death usually turn out to be good reads, and you certainly didn't disappoint with this one!
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  28. And that is why you should never crash a Halloween party! Too bad death didn't look like Brad Pitt this time. :-) Happy Halloween!
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  29. Her death wasn't important enough to halt a great party...that's Hollywood! Grand tale!
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  30. A great, creepy Halloween story! I guess Death isn't afraid of being with a waitress. I liked the image of her melting into his arms.
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  31. Wow, just a nobody, not worthy of a headline. That's the most chilling part of the whole story.

    When you said the director's vampire costume was so good it must have cost thousands I thought sure he was going to be a real vampire. Nice bit of misdirection there.
    ~jon
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  32. Here's the plot you asked for:

    Marisa will go down the rabbit hole - this is a metaphor for any shift in dimensions. There she will meet a fantastic being named Jeff who teaches her the secret of "red". When she returns she imparts this knowledge to the person who is meant to have it: Mark. Just one thing. I know this will be very difficult for you, but no one is allowed to die.
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  33. Oh, that was sudden, and sharp. Now I know to stay away from such parties - or, at least, stay away from balconies.

    Well done, Laura. A really good flash story.
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  34. Ah, the most horrible death of all: one that no one cares about. Well done, Laura. Well done.
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  35. Your misdirection was great there, I was almost sure the director would turn out to be a vampire.
    I liked the swimming pool that wasn't actually there, death works in mysterious ways too, right? :)
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  36. I must admit, at first I thought you were going to play off of the "too authentic" vampire costume...but, love what you did instead.

    I'm always a fan of a good Death story.
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  37. Thank you! I'm so glad you all enjoyed this.

    Mark - I seriously can't write a plot where everybody lives. Sorry. :)
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  38. The problem with commenting on your stories on Friday morning is everyone else beats me to the punch. I'll just say that once again, you have crafted an exemplary piece of flash fiction. Happy Halloween.
    chris
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  39. This was stunning. Not only frightening in the execution, but also that she was unworthy of a second thought. Excellent.
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  40. I'll echo Chris [wailing] they already said what I wanted to say!!!
    but this line "Do you choose to be with me?” was stellar. I KNEW then that he was trouble...when a man dressed like death asks you something like that.....kick off the heels and run.
    :0)
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  41. love the Styx allusion; and the 'nobody' thing is priceless.
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  42. Oh, don't feel the reaper, honey! He doesn't need to play tricks on Halloween...but his treats sure suck.

    Great Halloween story, Laura. I always enjoy your work. ;)
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  43. Great Halloween short! I like the "nobody noteworthy" and also the pool that wasn't really there!

    Happy Halloween!
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  44. I'm glad I came over from Mark K's Friday Flash.
    You'll be another flasher to follow.
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  45. Thanks all and if you're new here, a big welcome too!
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  46. You can't beat a good bit of death at a horror film directors party.

    cracking stuff
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  47. Great story to read after a Halloween party! I'm glad I hung out next to the guy dressed as a potty... Peace, Linda
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  48. Chance - I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    Linda - I hope you didn't have to go home with the potty. :) Thanks for stopping by.
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  49. I always love "meeting" other writers! So glad I stopped by!
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  50. Hi Genny! It's nice to *meet* you too! Thanks for stopping by.
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