Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Teacup - #FridayFlash

“Don’t touch that. You might break it.”

Kelly jumped at the sharp admonition from her grandmother. If she had been holding the cup right then, it would have slipped from her hand for sure.

“I’m sorry, child. I didn’t mean to startle you, but it mustn’t break.”

Grandma stared at the teacup, wrung her hands in her apron.

“Why? It’s just a little pink cup. It doesn’t even match anything else on the shelf.” At ten, Kelly now had the privilege of entering her grandmother’s parlor, a place off-limits to the younger kids. The antiques lining the shelves were just odds and ends to her, but grandma said they each had a story to tell.

“That pink teacup has been in the family for over one hundred years,” her grandmother said, settling into the overstuffed chair to wait while the cookies baked. “Would you like to hear the story?”

When she nodded, her grandmother’s eyes took on a faraway look. Kelly sat on the floor next to the chair to listen. Grandma always told good stories.

“The woman who originally owned it was said to have evil powers. Family members recorded that right before she died, she asked for that cup. They said that tears flowed down her face as she held it and several drops fell into it. As she drew her last breath, she muttered an incantation and smoke filled the room for a moment. After she died, the tears in the cup formed a black stain that wouldn’t wash out. After that, people swore that the cup whispered to them.”

“Like it was haunted or something?” Kelly watched the muscles in the old woman’s right cheek twitch, a pained expression cross her face as she fell silent. She looked unhappy.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing – nothing at all.”

Grandma spoke quickly, tried to smile but her lip trembled now. Kelly didn’t understand the woman’s nervousness, but it had something to do with that dumb old cup.

“Why don’t you get rid of it if you don’t like it?”

“It won’t let me.”

The muttered words were so faint that Kelly imagined she heard wrong. The timer rang in the kitchen, announcing fresh-baked cookies waiting to be pulled out of the oven. Her grandmother left to attend to them, reminding the girl not to touch anything.

Kelly tiptoed over to the teacup, peering into the bottom of it while clasping her hands firmly behind her back. The black stain rested in the bottom, just as grandma said it did.

“What?” Kelly whirled, sure that someone had just spoken to her. Off-balance, she stumbled into the shelf, causing it to rattle. A low laugh emanated from the cup, its sound pitching into a screech as it became louder. Unnerved, Kelly picked up the offending cup and threw it onto the floor where it shattered, silencing the brutal sound.

Her grandmother entered the room and moaned, collapsing to the ground in utter despair. Kelly didn’t have time to wonder about grandma’s well-being, as a cloud of smoke rose from the broken pieces to claim the young girl.

55 comments:

  1. Well done...little brat should have left the cup alone...lol!

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  2. woah... what just happened? I am freaking out!

    ~2

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  3. Oooooooooooooohhh... Spooooooky. :) You should have saved this for Halloween!! :)

    Very well done.

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  4. Thanks, 2...always happy to freak someone out. :)

    Thanks, Stef! I'll have plenty more spooky ones by halloween. :)

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  5. You really have your pacing down in this flash fiction stuff, Laura. Good job. Agree about the Halloween flavor too. ;)

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  6. Thank you, Hope! I'm glad you stopped by.

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  7. Nice and creepy!

    I love reading different folks' takes on things. If I'd written this, nothing would have happened when the cup broke and the granny would have been a superstitious old kook :P

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  8. Ah...my victims rarely survive unaltered. Thanks, Dana!

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  9. Nice. I get a warm picture of the Gran in the chair telling a tale with an engrossed and adoring child at her feet - and then everything turning to poo.

    Like I said - nice!

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  10. Dark and spooky - just how I like them. Nice job!

    I've just posted my first #fridayflash!

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  11. Nice mix of the mundane and the supernatural. First time I've been scared by crockery.

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  12. Really engrossing story Laura, great job! Had the feeling that this was a backlash to the pink, frilly teacup in the recent "One Lovely Blogger Award."

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  13. BT - Thanks! I like turning things to poo...

    Alan - That's great! Welcome to #fridayflash.

    Dan - Thank you. You'll never look at a cup in quite the same way... :)

    Alan - Thanks! A couple of comments last week suggested I create a dark story out of them. Can't resist a challenge...

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  14. Great stuff Laura.
    Brilliantly written and I didn't see that ending coming at all.

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  15. Oooh, twisted. Very good. I have to wonder if the cup reforms itself to await it's next victim.
    ~jon

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  16. Thank you, Mr Uku! It's always nice to hear that. :)

    Thanks, Jon! Twisted seems to suit me...

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  17. Laura, this is fantastic! Absolutely LOVED it.

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  18. Creepy Crockery. I LOVE it. I love how it's sweet, then slightly creepy, and then shocking.

    Nice!

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  19. Lisa & ganymeder -

    Thanks for leaving comments! I'm glad you loved it.

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  20. Wow, that was a nice twist at the end. Nice set-up on why granny kept the younger ones out of the room. Too bad for the little girl.

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  21. Great twist at the end. I expected the Grandmother to die. Definitely spooky.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

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  22. What a yummy little morsel of writing! My grandmother also had a "do not touch" room. Hmmmm....

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  23. Helen - Glad it was a 'gotcha' moment. :)

    Shannon - My Great Aunt had a 'do not touch' house!

    Thank you both for stopping by!

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  24. Darn it, Laura. Now I've got to go check all the cups in the hutch. And the mugs in the cabinets.

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  25. This story kept me completely hooked up and still does after the last word read! I love the "power" of
    your words Laura!

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  26. What a great story to start the day with.I smiled all the way through.

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  27. Sorry, Carol, but one can never be too careful with crockery...:) Thanks!

    Laura - I'm glad you found 'power' in my words. Coming from such an amazing poet as yourself, I am deeply honored. Thank you.

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  28. Thanks, Craig! Glad I made you smile, just as your writing does for me.

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  29. I'm just going to remember the cookies. Yes. Cookies make everything all better.

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  30. Jen - Cookies make everything better...

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  31. Nicely done. It's made me look at my grandmother's glassware in a whole new way. *shudder*

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  32. Netta - Thanks for the *shudder*!

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  33. Laura: I love that last line. Not only did the grandmother collapse, but the dark cloud claimed the young girl. Didn't infect her or take her over, but simply "claimed" her. Nice word choice. And nice setup. When she broke the cup, it could have gone either way -- it could break the spell or it could release it to ... well, claim the girl. Well done. As usual.

    --Jeff Posey

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  34. Oooh, this was nice! It literally gave me chills. So of course I shared it with my wife so she could enjoy it. :D
    I just heard about #fridayflash today and thought it was a great idea. So I brushed off the old blog and tried it out.
    http://matthewandmaegan.blogspot.com/2009/08/eggs-over-easy.html

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  35. Breaking teacups is clearly off-limits - listen to your grandma! lol Very nice story!

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  36. I knew there was a reason I drank coffee. Nice one Laura.

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  37. Thank you, Jeff!

    Welcome to fridayflash, Matt!

    PJ - you never know what lurks in crockery...

    I'd still check out the coffee mug, Chris...:)

    Thank you all for leaving comments. It truly warms my heart.

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  38. Well done - the line "It won't let me." is incredibly powerful, and as Mr. Posey said, "claimed" is the perfect word. Cheers!

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  39. Haha! Nice one (again). ;)

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  40. Bloomin' kids, can never trust them to leave well enough alone. And bloomin' Laura, can always trust her to make people pay for their stupidity! What a fabulous story.

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  41. tl - Thanks for the kind words!

    Merc - Thank you!

    Pip - I guess I do make them all pay, don't I? *insert evil laugh here* Thanks!

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  42. Aloha Laura,
    Yours is the first #FridayFlash story I have read this Saturday morning, and what a gem to start with! As you know, since you so generously commented for my meager start earlier, I leapt into this marvelous writing community somewhat impulsively hoping to learn more, and you will be a fabulous teacher. Loved this, and will forever wonder about the stories within the teacups I've had a penchant for picking up at garage sales.

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  43. Rosa - What a lovely thing to say! It's great that you've jumped into the #fridayflash community. There are many fantastic writers participating.

    Re: your penchant for garage sale teacups though...listen to them closely before you buy. :)

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  44. There are two cups left from a relative's collection, and now I'm thinking about not using them! Heh. It was a wonderful story to read on a Saturday morning after helping a son to move to a new house.

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  45. A pair is probably safe...it's the 'loner' type you have to watch out for. ;-) Thanks for your comment!

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  46. Okay, so I read this yesterday and didn't have enough time to post on it, but this was seriously awesome. The suspense was wonderful and the ending - yeah, I didn't see it coming. :)

    And I completely agree with J.M. Strother about the cup going back to normal because that would just make it ten times creepier.

    I'm sorry I can't add anything new to the conversation, but I wanted to tell you that this was great!

    Good work!!

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  47. An evil teacup! How delicious! (sorry, too much? ;)

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  48. Juju - You're awesome to make the trip back to comment. I really appreciate it!

    Bishop[Neo] - Never too much. :) Thanks!

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  49. Michael - I do seem to like creepy, don't I? Thanks for stopping by!

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  50. Damn kids can't leave well enough alone!

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  51. Wow, very nice and spooky. The teacup claims another! Great story!

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  52. Mark - Kids are pesky things...:) Thanks for stopping by!

    Eric - The teacup wins again. Glad you found it spooky, thanks!

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  53. So very nicely done, Laura. I love your imagination. You can take the simplest things and weave dark and dangerous tales around them.

    Nice, clean writing and the pace is perfect.

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  54. Thanks, Kevin. Wonderful words, coming from you, since you weave dark and dangerous in awesome tales yourself. :)

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